The phone rang.  I had been waiting for this phone call, wondering when it would come.  Finally. The happy voice on the other end told me to sit down, and she gave me the good news.  I had been accepted to law school!  No way!  Really?  Me?  I couldn’t believe it.   This had been in the making for a year.  A very long year.  I suffered my way through the LSAT and the law school application.  Studying and preparing when I could find the time around my children’s schedules. And now, I had been successful at accomplishing my goal.  But, did I really want this?  Good question.

I am the mother of two young daughters, ages eight and one, and the wife of a Texas State Trooper.  I had been working for my father, who is an attorney, for the past two years.  I worked from home and had a very flexible schedule, just so I could be available for my children.  But, my brain wanted more challenge, and I thought becoming a full-fledged attorney would satisfy that need!  Also, I was so thankful for the lifestyle that my dad gave us when I was a child.  I thought if I became an attorney, I would be able to provide that lifestyle for my children.  We took vacations twice a year, and enjoyed magical Christmases. We had horses, a pool and a tennis court in our backyard.  My college was completely taken care of by my parents.  I deeply wanted to be able to provide this kind of financial security for my children.  I wanted them to have the awesome experiences and life adventures that I had growing up.  I thought law school was the ticket.  The problem was, I just couldn’t find that “God peace” in my decision.  On the surface, this seemed like a good idea.  Sure, it would mean sacrifice in the short-term, but in the long-term, it would mean good things for our family.

I would be in school for three years. My mother was going to take care of my youngest, and my oldest would have to be juggled around after she got out of school each day.  I would be at school all day and studying all night.  Is this what I wanted?  I thought it would be okay because my youngest would not remember it and my oldest was old enough to understand.  My entire family was very supportive of my decision to go but my soul was in definite conflict. Not everyone gets accepted to law school, so I forged ahead.  I visited the friendly campus bookstore and bought $700 worth of law school books.  And the debt began!  I signed the loan papers for my law school loan, and the debt got deeper.  It was going to be $65,000 to get that beautiful law school diploma.  But, I would be able to pay it back when I went to work as an attorney.  No problem.  Until then, though, things in our family would be tight! Besides just the conflict of leaving my children to go to school, I was very conflicted about the debt. And, not to mention, I would be expected to work long hours as an attorney, and that would make being homeroom mom pretty difficult.  Again, I rationalized that I would figure it out.

Remember the law books I mentioned? Those law books sat in their box on my bedroom floor for a week, and I had no desire to even look at them.  I told myself that as soon as I started school, I would be interested in all those books.  I hoped.  First day of class rolled around.  I dropped my sweet baby off at my mother’s house, and cried all the way to school.  I consoled myself saying it would all be worth it in the end.  I could do this. My kids would be okay.  I found Room 205 and sat down in the cold, plastic seat.  The professor, who was 3 years my junior, started talking passionately about Supreme Court decisions.  Yes, that’s right, I was older than my professor. As she talked, my brain was in the classroom, but my heart was with my children.  I couldn’t wait to leave Room 205. There was no passion stirred within me, except the passion to be back home with my children. What was I doing there?

When I left the school that day, I knew that I couldn’t go through with law school.  It was wrong on so many levels.  I couldn’t miss three years of my children’s lives.  Even if my youngest would not remember it, I would.  Even though my oldest was supportive of me going back to school, I couldn’t do it. And, on another level, I still wasn’t passionately drawn to those law books or the law.  Never in my life have I hyper-ventilated but I’m pretty sure I was hyperventilating that night. I knew what I had to do.  The next morning, I drove to law school with my box of books and took them straight back to the bookstore.  They took the books and returned my $700.  I withdrew from school and drove to my mom’s to pick up my daughter.  Relief.  Here was the “God peace” I needed.  I knew, without a doubt, that I had made the right decision.  I picked up my one-year-old; she put her head on my shoulder and patted my back.  Sweet.  Decision confirmed. I drove away, baby in the car seat, law school in the rear-view mirror, and happiness in my heart.

Now what?  What about that financial security, college tuition and life adventures I wanted for my children? This is where having faith in God comes in. God knows what I want.  He knows the desires of my heart.  Law school was not the way for me to achieve those dreams.  You see, this law school episode made me do some serious soul-searching. Who was I?  I had forgotten after 13 years of being married and nine years of being a mother.  I had lost myself. And, more than that, I’m sorry to admit, I had really lost my deep relationship with God.

So, who am I and why am I here?  Hmmm. He wires each one of us in a very specific way to fulfill a very specific purpose on this earth. I didn’t even know what my God-given strengths were anymore. I can tell you that law was not bringing forth any passion for me! I had been on autopilot. Diapers and bottles and carpool, oh my!  Late nights, early mornings, endless days. I was literally sleep-walking through life. I had lost touch with who I was and that nearly cost me three years and $65,000. God finally got my attention. Casey, wake up!

I needed to work.  We needed a second income.  But, I knew that my priorities had to stay in line and that I needed to be home with my children while contributing to the family finances.  I also knew that I needed to make an eternal difference on this planet.  I knew that whatever I did for my career, I needed to be passionate about it.  I got very still and re-established my relationship with God; consistent prayer, soul-searching, God’s grace.  I found myself again and I found a career that I’m passionate about. I discovered that my God-given strengths are that of encouragement and leadership.  This is what comes naturally to me, and He has given me a career where I get to use these skills every day.  I get to make a difference in the lives of others, and support them as they reconnect with their God-given gifts to live their lives with purpose. You see, by re-connecting with my unique wiring, and by keeping my personal priorities and values in line, I have discovered something that I will do for the rest of my earthly life, and when I get to heaven, I will feel like I accomplished what I was on earth to do. I can’t believe how my prayers have been answered. Well, actually I can. He is a faithful and loving God.

So, I ask you, what are you passionate about?  Are you living life fully awake, or half asleep?  Have you lost yourself in the daily grind?  It’s time to find yourself again and start living out your purpose, while keeping your personal priorities in line. It’s true, working from home can be challenging, but if being home for your children is one of your personal priorities, it can be done. Moms are good with challenges, right? And, if you’re doing something that you’re passionate about, you just plow through any roadblocks that come up.  Passion yields determination.  When things get tough your passion for your business keeps you moving forward, step by step. That is why it is so important to earn a living doing something you love.  When your work feels like play, the possibilities (personal, professional and financial) are endless.

Here’s your homework.  Take the first step towards a passionate and purposeful professional life.  Determine what your motivating gifts are, as found in Romans 12:6-8, and then create a list of careers that would allow you to use your gifts to bring you, and others, happiness and fulfillment. Don’t wait another minute.  The time is now.  This is your personal wake up call!

Casey Sollock is the mother of two beautiful daughters and is married to her college sweetheart.  She is a career discovery coach and the owner of Career Happiness Now!.  Casey is passionate about helping Christian women discover their most soul-satisfying career based on their God-given gifts and personal priorities. She is a certified coach of The Call, a faith-based vocational and life-purpose assessment tool.  Casey is an author and is excited that her first children’s book, written with her family, is coming out in December.  Visit Casey at her website, www.careerhappinessnow.com, for more information on career discovery coaching and The Call assessment.