It is not every day a stay-at-home mom gets to participate in a fabulous women’s conference while still managing to get laundry folded, desk cleared, grow spiritually, and be renewed in her call to ministry. The online “A Woman Inspired” ministry conference provided all that and much, much more.
Within the first few sessions, the Lord’s work emerged as I listened to Darcy and Amy speak about blogging and income. I quickly realized I had been sliding down a slippery slope, forsaking my ministry in the pursuit of money. The effort to use my blog to generate an income was spurred on by the longing to help with our family finances, while succumbing to the belief that “working” (proved by income) is more valuable than “ministry” (as evidenced by no income).
During the week following the conference, I attempted to reason with the Lord about my desire to earn money through blogging, only to find less peace and more anxiety over the affect on my ministry and my faith. The Lord slowly opened the eyes of my heart and led me repeatedly to 1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.
Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” I knew that with each additional income-earning feature I had implemented, I grew further away from the purpose the Lord had put before me. I was eager for money and I was wandering from the faith. It was then the Lord impressed on my heart, “Run, Woman, Run…the Other Way!”
While some people struggle with the desire for money as a means to an end, my struggle with money is in its uncanny way of establishing worth. During my teen years, my hardworking father’s income sky-rocketed. The financial prosperity we experienced left quite an impression on me. Regular shopping sprees, home renovations, exciting vacations, spa beauty treatments, and expensive gifts were normal occurrences.
Fast-forward to my adult life as a wife and mother, and you’ll see that shopping sprees and home renovations are simply a thing of my past. Yet if you walked through our home, or looked in our bank account, you would also notice that the Lord has provided for every need. Thanks to the wise stewardship of my husband we have not faced debt on this financial faith-walk. Our financial life is guided by the musts not the wants. This reality has challenged my core beliefs on the value of money and its ability to define the worth of a person.
The lies I believed about money still sneak into my thoughts, fueling the desire for more money even while I am sincerely grateful for what we have. It is certainly a strange dichotomy. I can be utterly overwhelmed by emptying my entire wallet in order to get into a local festival with my family, and keenly aware that our frivolous spending is equal to two months wages for a family in India. But the emotional roller coaster doesn’t stop there. Once through the gate, I learned that we could only afford one ride for our family. No games. No food. We spent 38 buckaroos not in the budget, but stolen out of our savings account. Sure, the ATM loomed nearby, but was it really necessary?
I left down-trodden and grateful for the rain, which was the main excuse for our quick escape. What happened to having simple, inexpensive fun at a strawberry festival? By the way, where were the strawberries? Yet as I listened to the grateful hearts of our children, each exclaiming “thank you” about a dozen times, I was struck by the bittersweetness of life. You would have thought we gave them the moon. I knew we barely gave them a star compared to what I received at their age. Should a stranger have handed us $100, I would have been reticent to spend it!
Would my children become so spoiled by the experience that a thank you may never pass from their lips again? Do you see my struggle? I want more money so we could do more and have more (and be happier…lie, lie, lie!), all the while knowing we could live with less.
I think this is why the Lord tells us that it is the LOVE of money that is the root of evil, not money in and of itself. Desiring it, wanting it, and pursuing it is the dangerous part. Having it simply becomes the challenge to use it wisely and not abuse it.
So how do we use money without loving money?
My solution is to run in the opposite direction — to keep on working, keep on providing in whatever means the Lord has made available, but also look for ways to serve and to save in order to give. Whether as a home-manager coming up with nifty dollar-saving treats, or as a graphic designer sneaking in an extra feature for a client. It may mean skipping lattes this month to give to World Vision, or only one ride on the ferris wheel instead of indulging in five more.
My mantra to “Run, Woman, Run…the Other Way!” tempers my desire for money and using it to declare my self-worth. Focusing on serving God, finding my identity in Him, and trusting Him to provide for all our needs forces me to search for opportunities to use my gifts for His glory, not my gain. We can all run in the opposite direction of temptation. By doing so, we stage an active fight against the quiet deception that overtakes our hearts, and then our ministries. And that is certainly something worth fighting for, boldly and determinedly.
eLisa Pulliam is passionate about her vocation as wife, mother of four treasures, and as a spiritual mom to a delightful college-bound gal. She considers it a privilege to share about God’s extravagant grace and transforming power with women of all ages, including teen gals, through relationships and speaking engagements as well as teaching and writing at her blog, www.extravagantgrace.net. She especially enjoys spontaneous creativity, being silly with her family, evenings at the beach, and long-lasting friendships.
