Today I was thinking about the importance and effect of thankfulness in my daily life. Like a breath of fresh air, thankfulness enters my heart and dispels the darkness that naturally fills those spaces.

Just last week, I was discussing with our 10 year old Kylie about the importance of our hearts.  I told her the story, which you may very well know, about how we could consider our heart being fought over by two dogs.

The first dog is the good dog and represents Jesus in our life.  The second dog is the bad dog and it represents Satan vying for that place Jesus fills.  I asked Kylie an important question, “Which dog do you want to feed?”

She thought about it and said, “Well, I want to feed the good dog.”  I said, “Yes!  And Kylie, every time we feed the bad dog, by choosing the bad things, like lying, bad attitudes and the meanness, we are giving Satan a place in our hearts that Jesus alone should fill.

I believe this story is so applicable to giving thanks.  When we choose thankfulness, even despite the hardships we daily face, we apply the power of Christ Jesus over that situation. And that, my Sister, is what we all need–His power applied to our day.

I don’t know why we should be thankful more in November than any other month.  I’d say our thankfulness is something to carry around in our hearts and over our situations every.single.day.

I hope you are blessed by the writings that fill these pages.  May they come and feed the good dog in your hearts today.

Joyfully,
Holly Smith

Have you experienced the sting of rejection recently? Rejection comes in all kinds of forms from all kinds of sources. It can be very subtle, and it can be very blatant. I think rejection is one of the hardest things to deal with in life. No one likes rejection.

I know rejection hurts. I’ve had my fair share of it throughout my life so far. The past two years (almost to the day) have brought two major rejections that I honestly never imagined happening. I wrote about how God was using the first major rejection here. That rejection brought forth The Fruit of the Spirit graphic and blogroll.  And just today I learned of the second major rejection. I’m still a little shocked about it, and my heart hurts almost to the point of actual physical pain.

There’s something else I know though: God has promised to never leave me or forsake me.

Deuteronomy 31:8 reads:

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

It’s hard not to be discouraged when a major rejection happens. Today I have questioned something that I thought was true all of my life. My perception of who I am has been altered. My eyes have been opened to a lie, a deception that I have held as a truth until now. One of my greatest fears has been realized, and my world has been rocked just a little bit.

I’ve shed some tears today. I’m sure I will shed more tears in the days to come. When I was taking classes to earn my Biblical counseling certificate, I learned there are 7 general stages of grief: shock & denial, pain & guilt, anger & bargaining, depression, the upward turn, reconstruction, and finally acceptance. These stages aren’t written in stone, they’re just a general guide of what to expect. When I wrote Fruit last April, I think I was probably somewhere between depression and acceptance. Regarding today’s discovery, I’m all over the chart.

But way deep down inside, at the very core of my being, there is peace, and even joy. I know that God is using this situation for my good. He tells me so in Romans, chapter 8, verse 28:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

In my post Fruit, I wrote this:

I have a heavenly Father who I can run to with every tear, every emotional hurt, every disappointment. Every time one of those hurts begins to bubble up in me, I can crawl into my Father’s arms, and He comforts me. He reminds me that “hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, (and) selfish ambition” are acts of the sinful nature. He reminds me that “those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature………keep in step with the Spirit.” It doesn’t mean that the hurt is completely gone, but what that gentle reminder helps me to do is to forgive, and every time that same hurt comes bubbling up again, it’s easier and easier to just let it go.

I still believe it. I stand by that statement. I know eventually this fresh wound will begin to heal. I don’t know how long it will take, but I have faith in God. No matter what wounds other people inflict on me, God will never leave me nor forsake me. He promised ~ and I believe without a shadow of a doubt His Word is Truth. His Truth is that He loves me; He goes before me. I need not be afraid; I need not be discouraged. No matter what.

Trish Anderson is the wife of a military man (recently retired) and mom of three. In their 20 years of marriage, Trish and her husband Roger have lived all over the US, including Colorado, North Carolina, Texas, Arkansas and Alaska. As a veteran homeschooler of 14 years, Trish has used parts of just about every curriculum out there. Her oldest child, daughter Ashley, recently blessed Trish with a granddaughter, Attison; older son Patrick is an Honors College Fellow at the University of Arkansas, and her youngest son, Sawyer, will be leaving home to go to school in the fall of 2009. She loves the mountains and is a true northwesterner at heart who seeks to follow God and bloom where He plants her ~ and she’s thankful to Him for air conditioning every moment of every summer she’s planted in the south!

Trish attended Oklahoma State University, and is a certified Biblical counselor. She can be found blogging about her family, homeschooling, military life and her journey as a Christ-follower at www.joyfulheartblog.com.

Recently I opened an email that came from a popular cooking newsletter.  In the subject line it said, “Thanksgiving Essentials.” They were trying to convince me that their recipes were essential for a great Thanksgiving. And if I’d just buy their gravy separator I’d have no grease in my gravy. I don’t plan on having grease in my gravy, I’ll probably open a jar!  They also tried to convince me that their meat knife set and meat thermometer were absolutely essential to having the perfect turkey. And then I needed to buy their beautiful platter to set it on, it’s essential you know.  I just cringed at the whole thing and hit delete.

Thanksgiving is a time we feast on food together, but what is the reason?  Is it to impress?  Is it merely because it’s a tradition?  The only thing that is essential to Thanksgiving is thanks giving. Unfortunately, we’ve become so wealthy, so spoiled by the blessings we’ve received from God that we seem to have lost sight of what the celebration is truly about…

I love the old praise song from the early 90’s – “Give Thanks”.  “Give Thanks with a grateful heart, give thanks to the Holy One, give thanks, because He’s given Jesus Christ His Son – And now, let the weak say ‘I am strong’, let the poor say ‘I am rich’, because of what the Lord has done for us.”

Over the years, I have been moved to tears on more than one occasion as I have watched, listened to some of the poorest of the poor from around the world sing this song with gratitude in their hearts, firmly believing they are blessed with every spiritual blessing.

Dr. Billy Graham wrote, “Ingratitude is a sin, just as surely as is lying or stealing or immorality or any other sin condemned by the Bible.” He then goes on to quote Romans 1:21, which is a strong indictment against rebellious humanity – they refuse to honor God or give thanks, thus He darkens their hearts. Then Dr. Graham continues, “Nothing turns us into bitter, selfish, dissatisfied people more quickly than an ungrateful heart. And nothing will do more to restore contentment and the joy of our salvation than a true spirit of thankfulness.”

As you go about your day today, ask yourself these questions:

Am I humbly grateful or am I grumbly hateful?

• What if, at the end of the day, the Lord told me I could only keep what I’ve thanked Him for today, what would I have?
• What do I want to teach my children about being thankful?  Am I modeling that?  Am I giving them opportunity everyday to verbalize what they want to thank God for today?
• The only essential I’m concerned with this Thanksgiving, and every day,  is the condition of my heart.

“Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name.”
Hebrews 13:15

Lord, I want it to have a humble, grateful heart for all You’ve done and all that You are.

Marsha Harwood lives deep in the woods of western North Carolina with the love of her life Mike, their dog Lucky, and an occasional bear that comes by for a visit. Married for 35 years, they are blessed with 3 children and 6 grandchildren.  She and her husband started Snowbird TEAM Ministries 12 years ago to reach the Cherokee Indians and people of Appalachia for Christ.  Her ministry is with at risk teen girls, pregnant teens and counseling women and children who have been abused. She knows and understands the shame and fear that fills the hearts of abused women and children. Marsha can be found daily on her blog, Marsha’s Musings and she is also the editor of the Marriage Channel on Exemplify Online.

Hi, my name is Trish Anderson. Women’s ministry and encouraging women has been a priority to me for many years. It will continue to be a priority, for I long to be a conduit through which the love of Jesus Christ is made known to others who are struggling and are in pain, both Christian and non-Christian.

Like you I have challenges and blessings in my daily life. God is always so full of surprises. My children are now young adults who no longer live full-time in my home. At this point in my life I figured I’d be footloose and fancy free, with the majority of my time spent counseling women, leading Bible studies, or in some other way serving outside my home. God had a totally different plan for me, however. Currently my husband and I are raising our granddaughter. Talk about an unexpected change in season of life! I went from thinking I was going to be an empty nester to spending my days playing pat-a-cake and having tea parties with teddy bears. I wouldn’t trade a moment of it for anything!

My heart aches for women who are struggling with issues in everyday life, including who they are in the Lord and what it is that God would have them to be. I desire to be an encourager and an encouragement to women who are looking for their place in this world. God has give me special insight to the difficulties and challenges faced by those who have experienced abandonment, abuse, adoption, and identity crisis, as well as those who have loved ones with drug and/or alcohol addiction or who suffer from mental illness.

There are two Scripture passages that are my constant companions: Isaiah 61 and Jeremiah 29:11-14.  They speak directly to my heart about who God is, no matter what kind of situation you are in.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

My blog, A Joyful Heart, can be found at www.joyfulheartblog.com.

Have you read the recent research that multi-tasking is bad for you*? Apparently, people who grow accustomed to moving quickly from one task to another are easily distracted by irrelevant information, less productive, and less successful on tests. Really! I’m offended. Who are the multi-taskers in disguise who are skewing these results? I work from home, and not only do I work a 40+ week, I fit in family, volunteer work, regular exercise, housecleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking…must I  continue?

Okay, let’s be fair. We all handle multi-tasking a little different. It’s overwhelming to some while others feed off the thrill. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh. Perhaps it’s more helpful to assume a middle-of-the-road approach. I’ll admit multi-tasking can not only slow you down in some situations; it can be downright dangerous, like texting while driving, or at least cause major energy depletions. So here are Thrive and Survive tips for multi-tasking:

Thrive – The “DO’s” of multi-tasking.

1. Set priorities.

Lists are great, but they can also be overwhelming. Be realistic when you create your “to-do” lists. If you make a weekly list but notice a pattern of needing to carry over more than a couple items into the following week, or you feel overwhelming pressure at the end of the week to complete your list, set smaller goals. Continue to create a weekly list but also break it down into daily lists, or early week, late week, and weekend lists.

If you’re not used to lists, allow yourself some wiggle room in the beginning. It will take awhile to get familiar with how many things you can realistically accomplish. Be realistic with time frames. Slightly pad your times, so if something takes longer than expected, you have a forgiving schedule. Watch for patterns. If you notice you consistently feel too much pressure, don’t get your list done, or ignore your list altogether, you need to re-assess.

And remember, you’re lists are supposed to help you, not control your life. It’s okay to put things on your lists such as “do something special with my daughter” or “call and listen to my best friend.” Yes, you might feel guilty putting people on the same list as grocery shopping and cleaning, but the note on your list might be just the motivation you need to set aside your daily tasks and share your life with the people who mean the most to you.

It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. – 1 Corinthians 3:7 (NLT)

2. Schedule rest.

Multi-tasking isn’t just about accomplishing tangible tasks. It’s about balance.

Rest is part of the balance. Without sufficient rest, you will be less healthy and less effective. Your relationships and work will suffer. You need to be recharged. Schedule time to crawl up in God’s lap and take a nap. Take time to be rejuvenated by studying his Word. Listen to his guidance and comfort when you pray.

But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer. – Luke 5:16

3. Be flexible and realistic.

You won’t finish what you don’t start, so get started. You won’t finish anything if you start too many things, so finish something. Know you’ll speed through some tasks, and others will take time. Some can be done on the go, where it’s noisy, and some require silence and isolation. Procrastinating has consequences. So does having some things done well ahead of schedule. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Challenge yourself, and forgive yourself. Expect growth, and allow for setbacks.

If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. – Proverbs 15:32

Survive – The “DON’Ts” of multi-tasking.

1. Don’t exceed your limits.

We all have limits. Multi-tasking can be addictive. It’s the thrill of completing one more project, answering one more email, tweeting one more time. You’re only given so much time in each day, month, and lifetime. Spend it wisely. If you’re (1) obedient to what God wants you to do, and (2) using time wisely, God will provide every second you need. He’s not bound by the confines of time. He’s the ultimate time-management expert, and he’ll manage the time he gives you if you’ll let him.

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. – Ecclesiastes 3:11

2. Don’t say “yes” to everything.

Efficient people tend to get asked to do a lot, because they appear to be able to handle a lot. Say “yes” to the things God prompts you to do. Say “no” when you have no prompt (or God is saying “no”!). “Who else will do it if I don’t?” and “Surely it won’t take much time.” are not adequate reasons for taking on another responsibility. “God wants me to do it” is your prompt for a “yes.” And it’s not just about your personal obedience to God. If you say “yes” when you’re supposed to say “no,” you’re taking the place of someone who is supposed to serve in that role! Only you can be you, and you can’t be anyone else.

But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. – 1 John 2:5

3. Don’t try to duplicate someone else’s system.

It’s great to learn from other people. There’s not need to recreate the wheel. Yet at the same time, you’re unique. Your gifts, responsibilities, skills, and relationships require customized organization. Try something you read or see is working for someone else, but if it doesn’t work for you, move on to another approach.

So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. – 1 Corinthians 9:26

Choose your tasks well. God has a pure purpose for you. Give your complete attention to these matters. Throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone will see your progress. – 1 Timothy 4:15

(If you run into the multi-taskers in disguise who are giving the rest of us a bad name, please share this article with them!)

*http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/08/25/multitasking.harmful/index.html

Susan Lawrence is passionate about connecting individuals and teams of people in purposeful and healthy ways. As a Ministry Consultant, she strives to equip women in leadership to meet the needs of other women while balancing their own needs. We all need support and encouragement! She lives in central Illinois and loves to encourage women through writing and workshops.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4 KJV

A meek and quiet spirit-in the midst of nose wiping, diaper changing, house cleaning, laundry folding, boo-boo kissing, and making dinner? Is it possible?

I believe that it is, but we have to seek to cultivate it. Unfortunately, It won’t just happen because we are a Christian woman.

In my home, I have what I call “meek and quiet spirit robbers”. These are things which steal my joy, leave me frustrated, or cause me stress. It can be something simple as missing socks or something bigger such as training my children. Whatever it is, big or small this spirit robber gets in the way of me having that gentle and quiet spirit that God calls me to have.

I have learned that identifying these spirit robbers and then finding solutions to them has gone a long way to helping me maintain a gentle and quiet spirit in my home.

Here is an example of a spirit robber: my son would be sent to his room in the morning after breakfast to do his chores, get dressed, brush his teeth etc. More often than not, time would carry on and he would get sidetracked and his chores would only be half done. I would get frustrated with him, and he would get upset for being scolded. It was not a pleasant start to our days. Once I realized that this was a spirit robber, I decided to come up with a solution. We now have a timer that we set, a chore chart to follow, and clear consequences if the chores on not done on time and correctly. This may not mean that my son always gets his chores done on time, but having a system in place makes dealing with the problem easy, leaving my gentle and quiet spirit in tact.

Do you have spirit robbers in your home? I am sure most of us to do. Here are a few examples of other things that rob my spirit:

• Clutter
• Disorganization
• Disobedience
• My Attitude
• Lack of Sleep
• Being Overscheduled

Spirit robbers can be many things, but thankfully we can attack most of them put them in their place and have our peace back. Grab a notebook and let’s attack yours:

Identify It
Is there something that constantly unravels you, makes you tense, upset or lose your patience? Whatever these things are, big or small, whenever your spirit is being robbed, start writing down what caused it. It doesn’t matter if it is something silly even. If it is stealing your joy, it needs to be identified.

Plan A Solution
Choose one of the items you wrote down, and on a blank sheet of paper begin to think of solutions. Pray and ask the Lord to help you find a way to fix it. Seek the input of your husband. Mine often gives me great advice that I never would have thought of if he hadn’t mentioned it.

Create A System
Successful businesses have lots of systems in place that keep them running smoothly. Why not adopt that into your home? Once you identify and have a plan, write out a system that can be put in place and what you need to do to implement it. I keep my new system readily visible until it becomes second nature to me. Put it on your fridge, in your home management binder, or wherever you can see it often to remind you.

Implement Your System
If it involves your children, share your new system with them. If it involves purchasing something that you need, put aside a little money in your budget to get it. If its your own attitude that needs adjusting search up some Scriptures or locate some reading materials to help you. Then be diligent about implementing this system, tweaking it as you need to, until you have it just right.

Choose What’s Next
After you have a good system in place for one spirit robber, continue to do this exercise until you have them tackled. Just do one at a time, and over time, you will find that maintaining a meek and quiet spirit is much easier when you aren’t being robbed of it!

We can cultivate a meek and quiet spirit by taming those things that are robbing us of it. It may take a little bit of work, lots of prayer, and some time but the rewards are great. Remember that God calls the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit great worth in His sight. That makes it a worthy pursuit, wouldn’t you agree?

Stephanie is saved by faith, forgiven by grace and a work in progress mother, wife, homemaker, and daughter of the King. When she isn’t busy managing her home, loving her husband, training her children, and seeking the Lord, she shares what she is learning about the important and wonderful calling that woman have on their lives. You can visit her blog at www.ahighandnoblecalling.com to find encouragement, practical advice and inspiration to pursue your highest calling.

There are so many ways to invite children into the kitchen–for them to learn, grow and experience! Each time, it is a memory in the making.

My Chris grew up the baby of 6 children. His oldest sister is 19 years older (though you wouldn’t know it looking at her, unless you think Chris is twelve!) and was married when Chris was about a year old. She and her husband could not have children for several years, so they often took Chris along to fairs and had him over for the night to get their “kid fix.” They didn’t have kids for twelve years…perhaps Chris was a handful?? One of their traditions together was this one for Thanksgiving.

She’d pull out her grinder and let Chris turn the handle. Together they made this marvelous dish. It is served at every Thanksgiving in the Smith home.

Cranberry Relish

• 1 pkg. cranberry relish
• 2 oranges, peeled and seeds removed
• zest of orange (the peel, using a zester like this one, pictured below)
• 1 apple, peeled, cored and diced into small pieces
• family size pkg. raspberry jello
• 3/4 c. sugar
• 1/2 c. orange juice
• 1/2 c. pecans, chopped finely

In a blender (or grinder, if you’d like!), blend cranberries and oranges until smooth. Mix in orange zest, orange juice, jello and sugar. Mix until thoroughly blended. Pour into a bowl and stir in apples and nuts. Refrigerate overnight.

I love tasting the blend of flavors from this relish! You can substitute orange or strawberry jello, if you’d prefer. They taste really good, too.

Another fun way to engage the kids in cooking is making play dough together. I submitted a recipe for Pumpkin Spice Play Dough on page 301 that can be adapted to make all different colors. For an aromatic brown play dough, just add 3 t. pumpkin spice or apple pie spice to the following recipe. Mmm…smells wonderful!

For the different colors, make it this way (without the spice, because that will make it hard to change the colors):

• 2 c. flour
• 1 c. salt
• 2 c. warm water
• 2 t. vegetable oil
• 4 t. cream of tarter

Blend together in a large stock pot. Cook over medium low heat for about 5-8 minutes, until it makes a nice dough-y texture.

Set aside to cool for a couple of minutes. Then divide it up into 6 balls and add about 10 drops of food coloring per ball. It will make your hands look like this, even after washing them three or ten times.

But the kids will love playing with it! By the way, an added benefit is a stress reducer for you, as you knead the color into the play dough. I think God created women with a need to knead.

What if you don’t have any kids around? Invite a neighbor’s child over or a child from church. The parents will adore you for it. And the memory made with the child will surely make a heart-impact upon you.

Holly Smith is wife to Chris and mother to Noah, Kylie, Tabor and Sydney. She is a stay at home mom, who very much loves her job as a mom. On the side, a web and graphics designer and she believes God has gifted her with a love of all things creative–from painting and wall-papering to scrapbooking and design-work.

Friendships are absolutely priceless and can add so much value into our lives if we are willing to invest time into the relationships.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (New International Version) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

The writer of Ecclesiastes wants us to understand that friendship is a good investment. When the author says in verse nine, “Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their labor” the words “good reward” can also be translated “good return” for it means – dividends paid on a wise investment. The very best investment you will ever make in life will not be a financial one, but rather the investment made in relationships. We will get the best return on that investment over any other investment that we will ever make.

As we go through life there are two kinds of things we can give our lives to. Some people try to accumulate possessions. They are constantly trying to get more or better stuff. It is attributed to the late Malcolm Forbes to have said, “He who dies with most toys wins.” However, since he has died, he knows that not to be true. If we spend all our lives trying to accumulate more and more possessions, we will never truly be happy and fulfilled. On the other hand we can decide to focus on building relationships, trying to make friends and BE A FRIEND.

Let’s look at a few characteristics of a true friendship:
1. ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) Each of us has experienced times in our lives when life throws obstacles in our paths. It is during these times that we need true friends. True friends will encourage and support each other in the midst of storms. True friends offer emotional strength. True friends will encourage and help us do what we have to do by supporting us in the midst of it all.

Encouragement means coming alongside to impart courage to another. This is what a true friend does for us when we find ourselves facing things that we have to go through. They come alongside us to lend support. A true friend encourages you. A true friend exhorts you. A true friend will help you do what you ought to do. A true friend seeks to bring you strength.

2. PICK YOUR FRIENDS UP WHEN THEY FALL. Verse 10 – “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no none to help him up!” “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17)

We’re the only outfit I know that shoots its wounded. We can become the most severe, condemning, judgmental, guilt-giving people on the face of the planet Earth, and we claim it’s in the name of Jesus Christ. And all the while, we don’t even know we’re doing it. That’s the pathetic part of it all.” (Leadership, Vol. 4, no. 1)

Let your friends know loud and clear that you are there for them! The next time it may be you in that situation. A true friend does not act like a judge when another friend makes very poor choices. Although we should never support their bad choices, we also need to express God’s love to them and encourage them as they pull their life back together. Many people will criticize them and most likely condemn your decision to support this individual. Don’t be intimidated by those who refuse to forgive.

3. A TRUE FRIEND EMPOWERS YOU. A true friend will help you do what you need to do. They will seek to bring success to you. We all have things in our lives that need to be addressed in order that we might be the success that God has in mind for us to be. Often, it will involve life change or character development. A true friend will help us. A true friend expresses honesty and constructive criticism to help refine us.

Jesus spent leisure and ministry time with the disciples so they could have a transparent relationship. Jesus impressed even Simon the Pharisee, when He was willing to go to his house and dine with him. Christ’s willingness to meet people on their home court proved to be a most effective teaching lab.

Jesus refused to give up on His friends. He asked Peter three times if he loved Him. Each time Peter meekly said, “Lord, you know that I have a brotherly affection for you (he could not bring himself to say that he loved Jesus in the sense that Jesus loved him).” John 21:15-17 Jesus’ relationship with His disciples was based on an intimate knowledge of each person’s strengths and weaknesses.

In order for us to have genuine friends in our lives we need to be a genuine friend. Dear Lord, I pray today that you will help me to be transparent, loving and forgiving. Help me Lord to be the true friend I need to be to those around me. Help me God to search my heart daily and get rid of any criticism or bitterness I might have for anyone in my life. Help me God to be the true friend I want from others. Help me to be patient as these friendships are cultivated in my life.

Blessings friends! You are truly special!

Rev. Deborah Shank and her husband Bob have been pastoring Belvoir AG, Marshall, VA for 11 years.  They have been ministering together for 29 years.  Deborah is the Women’s/Music Pastor at Belvoir.  She is also the consultant for Women in Ministry in the Potomac District of the AG.  Through her blog www.DeborahShank.blogspot and her Chocolate and Coffee/Pastor’s Wives and Women in Ministry on Facebook, she ministers and encourages  women daily around the world.

Wikipedia says “Toleration and tolerance are terms used in social, cultural and religious contexts to describe attitudes which are “tolerant” (or moderately respectful) of practices or group memberships that may be disapproved of by those in the majority.”

For years I have been hearing about the act of tolerance from schools, government and well meaning people around me. I have tried and tried to grasp it as a way of life but I have finally wrestled with the concept of tolerating enough to have decided that I choose to say no to tolerance.

Tolerance is mentioned just a handful of times in modern translations of the Bible and it is then due to intolerant, sinful behavior. Love, on the other hand, is mentioned in the Bible approximately 1,000 times and when it is used, it is in regards to loving God and loving people. I tolerate you so much. I love you so much. Which sentiment would you rather hear from someone who you know?

I will not deny that tolerance has been a part of my life. It usually sneaks its ugliness into my heart when I have been hurt by someone or when someone reminds me of someone else who has hurt me in the past. A certain look or tone of voice will trigger a previous wound and I will quickly place a new acquaintance into a box of tolerance because I am scarred and scared to take the chance of them being different from the person that they remind me of.

Other times that I have defaulted to tolerance is when I am not sure how to handle behavior that God has told me in his word in intolerable. Those are the times that I might think that one sin as worse than another so it is easier to avoid interacting with those who struggle with those unspeakable sins. When in doubt, tolerate.

Good Lord, forgive me for tolerating. My sins are no better or worse than someone else’s. The consequences and levels of pain may vary but how dare I choose to hurt them even further by just tolerating them. I have done nothing better than to reject someone when I choose to give crumbs of toleration.

Tolerance is a small part of love but it cannot even come close to replacing love. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” When we tolerate, we stay clear of the mess and there is no sharpening going on which means very little to no growth is happening. I will choose to love. What a wonderful, messy adventure to love.

Love requires more of us. Love will be uncomfortable but it is also so much more rewarding for us and those we love. Love is a choice though. It will not always come easy. I have noticed that when my family and loved ones go through busy and difficult seasons, we often slide into a daze of tolerating one another just to get over the waves. It is when we choose to love once again at a conscious level that we finally remember the vast difference between tolerance and love.

Have you been so busy tolerating that you have forgotten how to love. And yes, by loving, I mean loving everyone! I have realized that when I tolerate, I am dismissing a higher value that I have, the value of love.

If you have forgotten how to love, 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 is a great place to redefine love. “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

I hope that you will join me in saying no to tolerance.

Deanna Morauski’s love for baking and cooking began as she sat upon a baker’s stool as a little girl. Her love for people grew in the midst of church potlucks. She expresses her loves today creatively through photography and writing for her foodie blog as well as hosting guests at her inn, The Old Hen Bed & Breakfast in the Snoqualmie Valley. Contact her at deanna@theoldhen.org.

I read the scripture Hebrews 10:24 this morning fresh and new. I’ve used this scripture for years as a diving board for ministry – particularly Women’s Ministry. God’s Word says,

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24 NIV

As I read that this morning, I had my children and my husband in mind. I don’t have to tell you, because it is a known fact, that we have to make deliberate and intentional steps to give our best to those we live with. We are professionals at putting on our perfect masks at church and giving everything we have to do it right for other people. But what happens when we pull into our driveways and shut the door to the outside world is really our calling, our mission field.

I dearly love my friend, Angela. Her husband is in full-time worship ministry, but I would guess that if you asked Travis he would say that what he does on the road would never be possible without Angela. She is a godly woman who dearly loves His Word and speaks it into the hearts and minds of anyone she meets. She can say more in just a few words than most (including me) can say in hundreds and when she prays for you, you feel God’s presence inhabiting each phrase. But one night recently at a gathering we were at together, she reached for the Word to affirm something I had said earlier and then to also share with others about how God has led them in their ministry. She opened up Acts 10:38 and reminded us that Jesus just went around doing good as He had the opportunity. She said that as we just go around and do good when we are presented with the opportunity, God will bless us and lives will find refuge in Him through us.

So in looking at this concept of just going around doing good as we have the chance and reading Hebrews 10:24, I’m challenged once again to look with eyes wide open for ways to spur my children and my husband on to love and good needs.

I’m afraid that most of the time I’ve been guilty of spurring them on just to get them to behave or do whatever I need for them do and act how I need for them to act.

Rather, my heart cries out this morning with the desire to be the catalyst in their life that opens their hearts up to things that matter, opportunities to do some good in this life knowing that abundant living is the by-product of that, and when all is said and done this world saw a whole lot of Jesus at work in their lives.

God, I am blessed beyond measure with my family. Tomorrow I celebrate 17 years of marriage with the love of my life and I do not want You to think that I take that lightly. I know that when I walked down that aisle on that unseasonably cool August day, You delighted me in a way that I certainly didn’t deserve. Thank You for giving us Taylor and Lindsey. Each one is so uniquely wired and gifted — fearfully and wonderfully made by You — and I pray that You will help me seek out ways to deliberately and intentionally spur them on to doing good for You, to help them see that serving You is the most important thing and that when we walk with You nothing else matters. Thank You for the reminder today that my single most important mission field starts before I ever step foot out into the world. It starts right here…at The Cook House! I praise You and bless Your Name today…the Strong Tower that I’m so grateful to be able to run to. Amen.

Dori Cook is wife to her very best friend, the mother to two amazing kids, a daughter, a friend — but more importantly, a forgiven Child of God. She would say that His Word really is life to her and without Him she is nothing. Her greatest joy — outside of Christ and family — is studying God’s Word and hearing Him speak directly to her and her circumstances. She is a freelance writer and a database manager for a non-profit organization. You can read her blog at http://yourwordislife.blogspot.com/.